Chapter 1: Court Room and The Jester

“All rise” said the Court baliff. The Judge, in his mid-60s, was just making his way to the seat. Stupid old oaf that he is, he doesn’t realize the significance of the moment which he had at hand. All his life, he was just bringing the hammer down on proceedings without any consent of the accused!! I mean how the hell can someone be so naïve and not ask the accused whether he is actually guilty? Why doesn’t someone abide by the testimony of the person committing the felony!!! This is what I call a state of anarchy.

“Johnny Chester, you have been found to be guilty of the charges applied onto you by the State of California. Please let me know if you have anything to say about the conviction”

Jackass…with my mouth heavily bandaged, he expects me to challenge the decision made by multi-breed, beefed up a**holes who think that the system has hired them to do a job!!!! Wake up you SOBs, the system is playing you like a violin and you are just as f**ked up as my mouth is right now!!!!

Looking at this Judge simply makes me sick! I mean this is a guy who has came out of 3-4 school and thinks he can decide the fate of millions of people? What a sorry state of affairs!! But the real reason I feel gutted is that this jackass resembles my father. However, my dad was better than him. My father was a drinker! You know that term “womanizer”? My father was not at all that..but he was definately a “woman basher”. That SOB used to hit women only becoz he knew that the guys would f**k his a** if he ever messed with him. All around my childhood, I kept hearing “Johnny, the man is the king and he should be treated like one”. Then the king of our house used to go and kick the living hell out of his queen aka slave! I saw him you know. The fire in his eyes, the coldness in his voice…he was one scared cat I tell you. He made me watch, the way he kicked my mother’s guts in and then raped the shit out of her as a way to “console” her. I used to enjoy his rage sometimes, that’s becoz he used to pass out and I got a chance to watch television…that Saturday night shit still cracks me up!!! Anyways, his heaven was halted the day someone heard my mom die. That’s the day I realized 2 things:

1. Guts have a limited life expectancy
2. My dad cries like a girl….the 4 cops and the neighbours showed me that part

That was the day I last saw my dad…couldn’t tell whether he was crying tears or blood but then people like these do make a whale of an impact on your life right? Foster parents were really nice but they did suck the fun out of fun…I became a good boy!! Hehehehahahahhehehe

Chapter 2: The Love of My Life

Well, as the judge kept rambling on with the convictions that I had achieved, he kept on referring to me as “The Accused”. Man, how can names just change right? Just a few years ago, I was addressed as “Johnny Chester, the Jester”. The guy who was the center of everyone’s entertainment, the person on whom everyone can wipe their hands and feet and this person won’t respond to anything! Seriously time has changed. Now I am the center of attention but I am having my own version of fun!!

Well I had a wife, my high school sweetheart, nothing very fancy, not a head turner but my very own doll. I loved her!!! She was a hard to get chick I tell you. Anyways, through my college days of being called a clown, getting elected as a Prom Jester, she warmed up to me on that very night…figure everyone likes a wit cracking nut right? Anyways, she was honestly the most beautiful person I had ever seen. She did have a very huge smile...you see... The one which I am currently wearing? It was as if she had just swallowed an ostrich egg and turned around to tell its tale. Well I was happy with her…but then a funny thing happened…it all came to a crashing halt.

Life, I believe is always about ups and downs. You go up and you come crashing down. It’s like ying and yang…apples and oranges…blah and bluh!! The up was when I married her…boy I haven’t had that much fun in my life until just recently but we will get to that later. Everything was just like a fairy tale you see…fate had painted me a very beautiful picture…the irony is that fate pissed on it while signing at the bottom.

My wife was a fun loving gal. But fun came at a price….a broad price…you know banking pressures are more than a mouth full for anyone…the market as life goes up and down and down and up…Due to these moments, I got into a lot of shit…I mean huge pile of it! My wife, darling that she is, got fed up of my absence and my dark mood during our little family dinners…she advised me a lot…”Johnny, smile!! Let’s see a smile on that face…it’s our anniversary”. Don’t mistake I loved my life but when the system screws you, getting a smile is just as difficult as using a blunt knife to kill someone in 1 stroke!

She got the taste of vodka and when she did that, she and her gal pals got into gambling a lot…and I mean a lot!! A banker knows when he says…”A LOT”. Anyways, under the effects of this pure liquid, she did go deep with those “glorified accountants”, dumbasses lending hard cash in exchange of a favour!! Those bloody sharks wanted an interest over the payment…as lucky as I could be that time, my purse was as dry as sand. So I couldn’t help her and she was f**ked. She came home crying like a little girl with a face which looked like someone just ran a damn truck over her...her smile intact of course. She went to God in my arms as I wondered…..how can a banker pay for a funeral which he didn’t ask for?

You know, that moment, when she died in my hands, I came to know what she truly was! She looked up to me and told me that life is all about choices, I can either choose to bury her and run out of the state or I can choose to get my butt kicked and try and get back some retribution! I choose the latter! So, I left on my journey to bring the people to justice who killed my wife and that changed me forever…literally…hehehehehahahahehehe!!!!!

Chapter 3: Drawing Cards

I am a man of simple tastes. I got into a simple school, was beat up by simple bullies, married a simple girl…was about have a simple family…that’s when things got complicated. The entire world around me crashed and burnt! I remember the court room trials which I had. Those were fun! That was the day I realized how fragile the system really is! How people just screw with the system as a whore…stuff her up real nice in the night and pay before leaving in the morning. They tried to stuff me but I, at that time was like a thanksgiving turkey that had animal rights issues! So they did the next best thing….they paid the judge…The judge had his own agenda…..he turned the trial on me on grounds of Wife abuse!! I mean..Do I look like my Father you a**hole? However, the trial did help me…it made me realize that if you are going to dig a bottomless pit, you start from the top!

Scouting your opposition is the best job in the whole world. It has its own perks…but above all it just give you a feeling of stalking your prey…and then as all hunters do, you get to pounce on it and kill it for good….the trials were only just the beginning…I wasn’t even interested in convicting them you know….I wanted them to pay…Pay for the little “fun” they had in recovering the money my wife owned them…These people were definitely weird! They moved in packs and so close to one another, they would make a gay parade look like a jog in the park! Boy, the “bodyguards” were a bunch of sissies…No guts…The 1^st one of them cried like a little girl left alone at a fuel station by her mommy when I slit his throat…Mind you, people say that the 1^st kill is always the difficult one…That’s just a bunch of bull, for me, the 1^st kill came shortly after the judge laid down the law while munching on the cash stashed in his wallet…It was nice and easy…This a**hole was having an ham burger outside a church that day…I walked up to him and said, “How you doing mate?” and bam! I f**ked his face with a baseball bat…Then all that was standing between him and death was his skin….tough hide that SOB had…took quite an effort to get it ripped open!

Well the unique thing about life is that whenever you do something out of the ordinary, your name suddenly gets into circulation. This henchman was just one small guy but the novice that I was, I left traces of my presence during his death!! The one thing I learnt then was to clean up before you leave no matter what business you do!! Anyways, the gang who crapped all over my wife became aware of my presence as a merciless killer and they did try to get their hands on me. Do you know the funny side? I wanted them to do it!

So, I waited, whaling my time away at a cheap diner on a happening Friday night, when another “bodyguard” came by to pick me up. I obliged, keeping him in the dark about my true intentions. He took me inside the car and locked the door. That was the last act he carried out in his life, becoz with a 12 inch machete inside his stomach, going gutful work would be really difficult! Just as I was cleaning the knife off his expensive Red coloured suit, his phone rang…The gentleman that I am, I checked who was calling. The understanding of that answer was the real bomb! Its not everyday you find out that your latest victim is the son of the top dog!

Oh well, that was it. I knew that moment itself that the end was here. The swansong was about to be sung and my machete just helped in fine tuning the orchestra. The top dog was devastated. He wanted revenge and he wanted it quickly. My mouth was watering with the proposition, but you know me, I don’t like to do anything stupid. So I asked for a meeting, again same diner same time tomorrow. I promised the topdog that I would be at my best behavior and would leave my knife at home. The mistake was – I didn’t ask him to do the same.

So, there I was, alone and waiting for the top dog to arrive. The clock struck 9 and he arrived, but with his entire fleet!! The diner had to bare a very hefty repair cost as I spent the next 20 mins bouncing off walls, tables, glass! My a** was kicked to a bloody pulp but I wasn’t killed…yet…You know what? That was his mistake!!heheehahahahahehehahehahaahha

Chapter 4: The Make-over

The 1st thing I remember after been tossed and f**ked like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day was the heavy thud on the head when I woke up! How many times have I told people not to do that as it makes the victim very fuzzy!! As my eyes got acclimatized to the light in the room, I heard the top dog coming into it! For around 30 mins, that guy was barking about how precious his son was to him and what I would be made to undergo just to understand the pain!! The mother f**ker forgot the fact that the predicament was on him beocz of his choosing. I never asked him to come over and put a few bullets in her!

A rusted nail tests awful, especially if it is mixed with your blood. As usual, I learnt this interesting trivia the hard way! This huge man came in through the door after the presidential speech showered on me by the top dog. He got in, removed his gloves, opened a box which had been arranged for him and brought out 4 rings each with a small nail in place of a diamond which I had expected! That really got me giggling! If those nails were brand new, he would have looked like the most hideous cross dresser in history! He put those on and came closer to me, laughing as he does it! With a huge chuckle, he let me have it, right on the mouth above the jaw bone! The funny part about his punches was that he didn’t just hit me, he brushed his thick a** fist on my mouth to inflict pain. This program continued for about 15 odd mins where he just rearranged my facial features as a top class plastic surgeon. Continuous punching does takes its toll, especially on a hefty guy, fat a** was out of breath before you knew it!! Looking at his face, my smiled with what was left of my lips and said “Why So Serious!!!”

The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was to prove to the world that he didn’t exist. Well the biggest trick I ever pulled was to escape with my dangling face from that basement when the helpful considerate guard brought some water when I asked for it. However, instead of taking a smart decision to go out and fight another day, I took it on myself to take my newly acquired smile and finish his once and for all. So, I borrowed the gun from the lifeless guard along with a few rounds of ammo and went out as they say “All guns blazing!!” I was supremely disappointed and insulted! Only 20 people in the house to watch over me? I did quick work of them but didn’t wait around to savor the moment of their passing as I was in a hurry to get to the top dog.

That jackass was in his bedroom trying to get over his son’s death by having some girls around for enjoyment! It was extremely easy! I took the last few rounds left and put all of them in his gut….even donated a few to the naked ladies in the room. They tell me that I was continuously firing bullets at the corpses of those people long after their deaths!! At one point the ammo was finished and the only sound that was coming was of me laughing my a** off with my figure glued to the trigger!! I think it took 3 Policemen to convince me or rather force me to release the gun and end all the fun that I was having! Revenge is indeed sweet, but mine was just as tasty as blood.

This entire fiasco was not my doing. I was just an accountant, leading a normal life but the system, the people, the criminals did this to me! I was innocent! These were the lines which the police wanted me to say but all that I could say to them was heehehahahahahehahahahahahaheha.

Chapter 5: New Home

Well this is how I got into this court room, in front of this judge, who according to my calculations right now should be severely dehydrated right now! Everyone was convinced that I was psychotic. But I begged to differ. Psychosis is an obsession of madness. It is like a hangover of permanent kinds where you just go out and bang up people literally and figuratively. You are just a screw up screwing around with people’s mind becoz your mind is not large enough to house the devilry that is psychosis. But I aint all this. I am just a bird in the free sky. I just keep on flying and dump out all the people who come in my way. I am not a psychopath. I am just a man with a plan.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, in summary the jury has pleaded the accused guilty of all charges applied onto him by the State of California. As Mr Chester doesn’t wish to appeal against the charges laid down on him and considering the situation under which the crime has been committed. It is wise not to sentence Mr Chester to county jail for a long jail term. Considering that the accused is suffering from a mental paranoia of mass murder, I would be sentencing him to a mental asylum for a period of 3 years. During this time, it is expected that his paranoia be cleared and then on completion of the treatment, he be moved to County Jail where he would be then serving out his life sentence”

Just as the Judge brought the hammer down, a very familiar look dawned on me. I smiled, I laughed. I smiled so hard that the bandage covering half of my f**king face slowly turned scarlet and then deep hot rod red! But the audience didn’t share my enthusiasm; they got afraid, very afraid!

“Respected Judge and Jury members, here I sit before you as an Accused. But who made me that way? Your system aint it? I don’t blame you. You had a job and you did it to perfection. Just that, perfection here isn’t the one which can be taken in the positive spirit. I believe that human are just like a pack of cards...all dependent on each other…all toppled by each other. In a system like this, fairness always takes the high road which goes straight to hell and takes along with it, individuals not playing by the rules. But in a system modeled on the pack of cards, a Joker is the only one which doesn’t abide by any rules, makes his own rules and can topple anyone in his path! heheheehehehahahahaheheahahah”

Well, my speech didn’t really melt any hearts, but it did make me undergo another mouth stitching process! A few days into the joint, I came to know that I would be shifted to a very famous yet notorious facility in a place called Gotham. The joint’s name was arkham. Sounds like a good place to start a new relationship. At the end of this episode I truly and deeply feel that correcting the system is like sticking your hand into mud. All you are going to get on your hands is crap with a scent of things but the mud remains..in fact the mud becomes even more black with each hand!!! So, the best way to deal with such system is to bend it…bend it to the extent that it breaks and when the air clears, you only have 1 rule…..URS!! ahehehahahahehehehahahahahah